Update on goings on

I feel  like I haven't written in a while even though  things have been happening. 

First off let me start by saying the lice went and much easier than I thought Peanut looks amazing with short hair. 

 We have been on school holidays and having catch ups with friends and just relaxing. 

This wednesday backpacker stayed with the kids all day while I did day 1 of a 2 day positive partnerships workshop. 

This is a free program about how to better communicate with schools  how to tackle those tricky teachers and IEP's and how to know your rights and stand up for yourself with out getting emotional. For me its been so valuable Im a pretty proactive mum but sometimes you just get stuck or confused by the system and with Peanut next year attending two schools, Mainstream 3 days with an Aid some of the time and Early intervention the other two days this is going to come in handy. 

Im not super pleased with the mainstreams schools responses so far they have been a bit hit and miss my initial reaction to the school was good ( its big but pretty and well established nice trees and the kids seems okay) but then I found some flaws and I had people chirping in my ear " oh they are not a good school the students are messed up  blah blah the teachers can't control them"  and various other bits of wisdom (I didn't ask for) we live in a low socioeconomic area and there are children with all sorts of needs behavioral and emotional which is why I was actually told in the first place they perhaps would be better able to deal with a child with autism compared to the higher end schools with middle class students ( mainly people from working class pasts immigrating and pretending to be above their stations).  
Surely that makes sense that the funding allocation and understanding of special needs would be better at a school thats seen all sorts of children from all walks of life. yes / no?  
Meh who knows (not me).  Private is too expensive for us I don't want to send my son to catholic school due to the fact I might burn alive when I walk in. Id like to walk him to school and I've not heard great things about the other school in walking distance and its on a main road. There are a few others public schools  not to far away 5 - 10 minutes drive that have good reputations with special needs but I want to give his local school a chance. 

Any way I have started rambling back to the facts  

I now feel empowered and like I have the right tools to approach the schools and ask for an IEP or CAP meeting before next year and I will be ringing about it next week I want to know how much aide time and If we can meet the aide and teacher for next year and see the class room, I can bring my LAC along and therapy focus if I feel I need it. 

The  program also made me sad that so many parents and carers felt alone.  I have Skips and they have been a wealth of knowledge, support and understanding and because of this I feel positive and prepared. Some of these mothers and fathers were lost, never pushing for things they are able to receive no knowledge about programs and funding options they are entitled to. 

Part of me got angry at them. "where have  you been  why have you just been sitting back excepting this you have no right to complain if you never went out and scratched the surface and pushed for more information" some people had excuse after excuse and were so negative but then I was angry that the information can be so hard to find. By the end of the second day most people had made friends and started to become more positive and were ready to take the next steps but there were still a few that still had not grown like they were upset they didn't get that special and all mighty magic pill that was going to "fix their child"  any suggestion  people come up with was knocked down even though they had not tried it and that made me mad!  

I think its the lack of knowledge people have about what they can and cant apply for and the fact people aren't working together for each child individually because they don't know where to start. We are only at the beginning of my journey and Im ready  to roll Im nervous and excited and Im sure we will have good years and bad years but I feel better prepared. I also feel like Id love to be a part of the disability sector helping those familys and children get what they rightly deserve. 

In Other news Peanut started Early intervention ESC Thursday and did well the teacher mentioned "he has a few scuffles over compliance but things he will get there soon". 
He has a little boy in his class whom is the same age and will be attending with Peanut until the end of 2013 his mother seemed lovely. The others kids will be heading off to mainstream or esc year 1 at the end of this year as they had been there nearly two years and were close to or already 6.

On Thursday after school Peanut started speech therapy with his federal funded service provider. Peanut did really well considering he was tired. His therapist (now named Irish) used the words visual genius she said he has very good with nonverbal language (eyes gaze pointing etc - that surprised us) and also his vocab and pronunciation was good (this we already knew). 
There was one bit that nearly brought me to tears. The speechy started to play simon says and Peanut was doing really well then she wanted to stop and get him to go get something but Peanut wanted to continue and he said Simon says close your eyes, so she copied and then he said close mouth and close chin (lol) and finally close ears she helped him along with the simon says bit but I was so proud of him Ive never seen that side of him before he wanted to take control in the correct way and that to me was the first spark of proper joint play with anyone else outside the family and certainly the only joint play Ive seen that require verbal skills ... so cheers to that!

Ball & Bikes

So this post is in two parts

One is the Therapy focus ball we went to.

We won tickets to the therapy focus ball and it was amazing  we dressed up and got drunk ( on free booze) and Danced ohh how we danced  Funny funny dancing I am so Glad backpacker and I are still so young at heart. We made the best kind of fools out of ourselves, chicken dance, Running man, Tango.

   

We didn’t know anyone to start with but I met some amazing people. It was needed so much laughing and fun.

So a big Thank you again Therapy focus and to Nynie and Grandaddy whom paid for a night in a motel for us so we could sleep in and enjoy the ball not worrying or fighting over whom would drive home after all the access to free booze. 

Two  is Bikes bike bikes bikes for those of you that know me the fact peanut can’t peddle has been a massive massive problem.

It sounds silly but Peanut stands out and I adore him being himself I really do but anything I can do at a parent to help there less things for kids to pick on and more things he can join in on the better and I guess riding a bike was one of them, I also knew that once he got the knack of it he would love it. 

So on this journey we tries trikes, bikes, bikes, more trikes and some more bikes. I would yell PEDDLE PEDDLE PEDDLE to him (so much so that Peanut would scream it to any other kid when they were on a bike!) I tried bribes and tried special altercations to the peddles to holds his feet in.

Then we got some balance bikes and the boys loved them and went bmxing and were so good that I forgot about peddling for a while.

 On Saturday Peanuts bike shattered. So after an a angry email to the manufacturer I headed to the local bike shop to talk to the man in charge and see what the deal was. 

Do we

a.     buy another blanace bike

b.     buy a cheap bike and hope he gets the hang of it or

c.      buy a decent light weight bike and take the peddles off to make it a balance bike until he is ready.

Well the guy was super informative and told me its sounds like he is not far off and suggested some great bikes all over $200 which since we have to buy 2 is WAY too much. 

So yesterday we headed out bike shopping we stopped at all the specialist bike shops and founds loads of light weight bikes none of which Peanut would get on and all of which shrimples wanted to take home and none of which we could afford.

We got to big W (department store) and saw a small pirate bike reduced to $30 last one left so I pull it out shove the peddles on it and Shrimples wants on! Shrimples starts peddling away (he only just learnt yes I know we are a family of late peddlers but that’s okay) He announces it was Peanuts turn and Peanut hops on and cycles PEDDLES around the shop like a pro steering properly.

 So yep we take it even though its too small on the mid set that they can share it and it might build  Peanuts strength and confidence to ride a bigger bike so now we just had to look around for a bigger bike cheap and hope he could ride it after a few more shops we found a spider man bike with a transformer seat  (not sure what happened there)  We were all over shopping and Peanut was crying and wanted the bike, we thought it was too heavy so I said if you cycle to the front you can have the bike ( he could ride both a black and blue plain bikes that were in teh store). The store attendant hears so asked Peanut if he wants a push to which Peanut screamed NO GO AWAY LET GO! She was freaked, I was laughing  I explained he has autism and it was the end of 4 hours of bike hunting at this point.  In the end Peanut couldn’t ride it the tires were flat we tried to convince him to pick the black or blue bike he could ride but he loved it and wanted it and I was knackered so I  went against my better judgement and convinced them to let me take the demo(two already put together bikes was a bit of a score saved us either 2 hours  putting them together fighting and listening to a screaming Peanut and Shrimples telling us to hurry up and trying to help or $35 to get someone else to make them for us). 

We got it home after a quick stop for take away and pumping the tires up at the servo (petrol station for those of you overseas).  Peanut was so excited to see the spider man bike at home " my bike ... my spiderman bike" got on it and could not ride it so then they fought over riding the tiny pirate bike. OH great what have I done! I give up going inside to sit on the couch for the first time it what seemed like for ever, Then about an hour later Shrimples comes running in telling me Peanut is not letting him ride on the spider man bike I thought he was confused so went to check and sure enough there is peanut riding around on a bike that his feet can’t touch the ground. So now they are fighting over the Big spider man bike as Shrimples wants to be like Peanut even though he couldn't possibly ride it with his short legs!  And this is why we normally have 2 of everything exactly the same !!!   

The skippers

 On Saturday morning  I got in the car and headed down south, well sort of,  it used to be down south but with the spread of the city its now just end of the train line and only an hour and a half away.   I headed down to join my skips ladies I’ve mentioned them before but skips is a group of special needs parents  (meaning parents of kids with special needs and not parents that have special needs although sometimes I’m not so sure) they have been amazing in the last few months since joining giving great advice support and information and a lot of laughs. We are all mothers and we all like to talk A LOT, but we also try to be good listeners.

On Friday night while I was at work some of the ladies drove down south and started our weekend away. I joined them on Saturday morning for breakfast. We went to lunch and chatted, did our nails and chatted, played pool and chatted, ate a lot of food and chatted, drank and chatted, went to the beach to watch the sunset and chatted after dinner we chatted some more and it was so enjoyable.      

Meanwhile back home hubbys and daddys looked after the kids took them on outings to parks, fed them and kept them safe.  This was some of our mummies first nights away from their kids. I was not surprised the fathers did so well and I definitely was not surprised the mummy’s relaxed so much away from the kiddlets and are already thinking of the next time.

 It was only a short stay but it was just what we needed. Movies and lunch ended the weekend nicely and we all headed home.  Peanut and Shrimples were happy to see me but Shrimples announced he did not miss me (but of corse when  daddy went for a short walk Shrimples made a point to tell me he was missing his daddy). Peanut is using a new sentence “I don’t know” its not really in the correct context and used as more as a diversion but man its cute.

                

Teach kids to be accepting

 I worry alot about how other kids will treat my boys. Bulling is a horrible problem and especially when you are clearly different, I was raised by a lady who never let me see differences. 
 My Mum she is amazing and brilliant and I think without trying she taught me that differences are good important and essential.  


Peanut and Shrimples both have a long way ahead of them in this world and  I already see bullies emerging at 3, 4  and 5 years of age. Are they really bullies... umm I guess not but will they be  yes I think so these kids continuously point out differences instead of marveling in there beauty. 


I once  got told by a 4 year old girl that she would not play with the other girl ( who wanted to play with her)  because she had a silly laugh and her other fiends would not be her friend any more if she was friends with this new girl. My heart sank. I sat down with both girls and explained that everyone was different and that if she just gave her a chance she could be an amazing friend. It didn't work!  the girl refused to believe me and walked off. What would her parents think if they had heard it  Im sure they think their little girl is sociable and has so many friends she must be nice and caring. 


So Im asking you all (even those of you who think your kids are amazing and nice to everyone) talk to them make sure they are interacting with all sorts of kids regardless of Age, Sex, Religion, Abilities or Skin Colour. Read them books and show them videos about differences. Teach them to give everyone a fair go and to respect everyone. Make sure you also don't react badly or overly patronizing to kids with SN without thinking.  


Last week Peanut was called stupid by a class mate. I went to this mum after school and told her he had said these things, She was not shocked by what her son had said as apparently he picks on people alot. This made my really sad. 


 We have alot of friends with kids around Peanut and Shrimples age and Im thankful for all of them. The parents for still hanging around us and the kids for just being there and not teasing Peanut he doesn't interact alot with them and has become more withdrawn around other kids as their language explodes and his does not and the more he gets teased and called silly names the more this will happen until its next to impossible to crack that shell and get it in find that wonderful boy. I am very thankful for those little gems in the playground that play with all kids and don't seem to care about anything accept is this kid fun? Those little gems make my day and Peanuts too. I always make a point to thank their parents and tell them how nice it has been. 


Everytime your kids picks on another kid a brick goes up around that child and the child will either withdraw or becomes aggressive and they could turn into a lonely or bitter adult. but every time your kid accepts another a brick comes down. 


I asked one more thing of you if you see or hear of bulling don't put up with it teach your children to speak up and stand up! If you hear your child talk about a little child at school that gets picked on tell the teacher talk to the parents find out if they know about it and maybe invite them around for a play. 


PLEASE DON'T FORGET THE IMPORTANCE OF ACCEPTANCE! 

Just because a kid with Autism is different, it doesn't mean  they wont turn out to be the best friend you've ever had.... EVER!