to divulge or not to divulge???

A trip to ikea today turned into a very interesting thought process to which I am yet to find and answer.

Dropping Peanut and Shrimples off at the creche for the first time today I signed them in and mentioned Peanut was in the progress of a ASD assessment so as long as they show him where the toilets are he will be fine and don't worry if he is jumping up and down flapping alot and not really talking.

Off I went to shop and I didn't have much to do just a filing cabinet for Backpackers office so I wandered through fairly fast and within 10 minutes was on my way down to the self service bit (you end up walking back past the creche) and I heard Peanut crying and was about to continue on when I heard we better page his mother so I stopped in and asked what the problem was. They didn't know, he was a bit flustered but not to bad just crying and pointing outside. I walked around with him for a bit trying to settle him and worked out he wanted to climb through the tunnel and wanted someone on the other side to look at. Its a glass type tunnel that you can see from the showroom floor.  I explained that mummy couldn't fit in the tunnel and he settled a bit and the creche worker came up to me and said  "Im really sorry we are not able to keep him any longer" " Oh okay so you want me to take him with me"  "yeah .. bye Peanut" So I explain to peanut we are leaving and he is to put his shoes on, he does as he is told as Im picking up my bag a hand touches me shoulder and says "Im so sorry, you must really have your hands full with him"  Now this is huge no no to say to ANY Parents, but especially those with special needs kids (I will rant about that another time).  


I let it slide and we continued on with our shopping, collected Shrimples and went upstairs for breakfast and then another walk around the store (Peanut likes it as you never have to turn back on yourself).


Any way I was a little upset and mad and it got my thinking, If I hadn't told them would they have just comforted him, or just let him cry a bit, would they have just thought he was a bit emotional? would they have had to page me?  Did the Autism word scare them? I wish I could have seen what had happened and how they were handling it. Should I have told them? we have always said despite Peanuts diagnoses we would not treat him differently and we would not expect any less of him than his best (what his best is we are still unsure).

I still don't know what to do or say or what not to say or what we are going to tell him when he is old enough to understand  he already knows he is different but do we keep it at "Peanut everyone is different and you are just a little quirkier than the rest". We will always celebrate our differences I have no doubt  and we would never use any dx as a crutch or excuse for anything. 

Ive had a few people tell me with regards to swimming lessons and other sports to just let the teacher/coach/instructor work it out for themselves and I must say during SN swimming classes they let him get away with murder.

It wouldn't take long for the teacher to work out something was a bit lopsided but if there was no "label" would it make it easier or harder? as it stands Peanut has a Specific Language Impairment, which just opens the doors to more questions. One friend mentioned "I dont think there's a need to mention that to any one...people straight away form their opinions and then dont even put in the effort of getting to know the child". 

I fully agree this could happen but then I think is it my duty to tell them? And why not assume they will do the right thing by your child?

to divulge or not to divulge???